


Excitement and Valuable Rewards

by CaveFelem



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Fighter's Guild, Gambling, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 20:59:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15826827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaveFelem/pseuds/CaveFelem
Summary: Two friends encounter something called "crown crates".





	Excitement and Valuable Rewards

The Khajiit was sitting spread-legged on a large crate, surrounded by similar crates arranged around him in a horseshoe shape. His clawed hands were in continuous movement, shuffling a tatty deck of what seemed to be playing cards. 

Scent-of-Trees edged closer, trying to read the stamped shipping labels on the crates. Unfortunately, the movement attracted the Khajiit's attention, and he did a half-turn on his seat, fixing his gaze on Scent-of-Trees.

"Pacrooti welcomes you! Are you interested in excitement and valuable rewards?"

"Uh, er... rewards?"

"Indeed! These crates around Pacrooti are brimming with most fragrant prizes! They can be yours with a modest fee and just a pinch of luck – and friend, Pacrooti senses a lucky aura around you today!"

"Come on, Scent. Work won't do itself. We don't have time for this nonsense." A thickly gloved hand grasped the Argonian's shoulder, and the sun behind him was obscured by a towering shadow in the shape of a woman. Scent-of-Trees twisted himself free of the grip and glared up – very high up – at his guild colleague.

"But Nawrana", he protested, "the Khajiit said rewards. Don't you want to know more?"

"He just wants to con you out of your hard-earned gold," the large Redguard stated. "You'll see, his modest fee will quickly turn out to be not so modest at all. Hey! You there! Merchant! How much gold are those wretched crates of yours?"

The Khajiit grinned back at this unexpected heckling as if it had been the most pleasant surprise of the day.

"Why, no gold at all, my newest, bestest friend! That's right, Pacrooti only accepts payment in crowns! Not the crowns of kings and queens, of course, those do not sit so well over this one's ears... but these!"

As if by sleight of hand, he had produced a silver-coloured piece of metal out of nowhere ("Probably from his sleeve," Nawrana muttered). It glinted in the sun and was stamped with the picture of a crown.

"These, you buy with your gold from Pacrooti. Then you give Pacrooti four hundred crowns, at minimum, and _then_ we can begin."

"I don't get it," Scent-of-Trees said. "Why can't I just buy a crate with gold? Why the extra step?"

"Because", Pacrooti said triumphantly, "they are called _crown_ crates. If they were _gold_ crates, then you, my friend, would be completely right. As things stand, however..."

"Nawrana? Can we please get one of those crates? The bank is right across the square. I have a positive itch in my belly scales today."

Nawrana sighed.

"How does this sound? We will watch as another customer opens a crate. If this is not a scam, you can get one. If there is nothing even remotely interesting or useful inside, we leave."

"Perfect, absolutely perfect! My spines are tingling with excitement! Hopefully there'll be a customer soon."

*

They didn't have to wait long for one. A Dunmer was making a hurried beeline across the market square, waving the pouch in his hand at the crate merchant as soon as he had him in his line of sight.

"One more crate, Pacrooti!" he called out. "This time I will get the Dwemer construct horse for sure!"

They did the dance of exchanging a pouch of gold for a pouch of crowns and the customer ceremoniously handing the latter pouch back to Pacrooti. The Khajiit weighed it on his palm, grinned and flicked out the deck of cards, holding them up to the mer.

"What's he doing?" Scent-of-Trees asked, puzzled.

"Hush!" the mer said, giving Scent-of-Trees an annoyed glance. "I must concentrate!"

With his eyes closed and lips pursed, he reached out and pulled a card from the deck. He handed it back to Pacrooti, who turned it over.

"An excellent selection! This means... this crate right here is yours, my fragrant friend!"

The mer practically squealed with delight and rushed to the indicated crate, which looked exactly the same as all the others. He began to work it open, and Scent-of-Trees leaned forward to see better.

"A Dwemer construct horse, hm?" Nawrana mused. "Finding one in there sounds extremely unlikely to me, considering the size of the crate. Riding one sounds uncomfortable as well."

"Oh!" It was a cry of disappointment. The lid of the crate had come loose, and out leaped a runty little nix-hound, chittering angrily and stretching its hind legs.

"Uninspired... but admirable." Pacrooti gestured at the animal, addressing his spectators. "It is a fine specimen, yes? And perhaps the big prize will be waiting in the next crate!"

"But I already got _three_!" the mer complained. "I'll do the same thing as with the others, please."

"As you wish, my friend." Pacrooti rifled through one of his pockets until he found... something, small enough to hide in his palm, which he handed to the mer. The nix-hound he grabbed by a leg (it made a noise like nails on slate), put it back into the crate and closed the lid again.

"Maybe just one more. Just one! Please don't go anywhere, I will make a quick trip to the bank for more gold... please stay right here."

"What did you give him?" Nawrana spoke up as the mer rushed away in the direction of the bank.

"Gems! Beautiful, shiny gems! They are not real gems, actually, only glass, but this one likes the sound of 'gem' better than 'bit of glass'... do you not agree? But make no mistake, they are very valuable – for you see, if you get a prize you don't like, you can trade it back to this one for gems, and _those_ can be traded for special rewards right here, at Pacrooti's! See, large, intimidating friend, there is no need to worry! Our noble Dark Elf will get his horse eventually, when he has enough of these gems to trade for one."

"And how many of these gems are needed for the horse?"

Scent-of-Trees had heard that tone of voice before. When Nawrana used it, it generally meant someone was skirting close to trouble. He stayed put, but quietly unbuckled the flap of his potion satchel just in case the situation escalated.

"Four hundred," Pacrooti said, rather subdued now. He had stopped fiddling with his deck of cards and was repeatedly glancing over his shoulder instead.

"Four hundred," Nawrana repeated. "And how many did you give him for the nix-hound?"

"Five. Ah, but you must forgive this one, there is a previous engagement he must get to at once..."

"Then there's the matter of those cards. How many nix-hound cards are there in your deck, I wonder? I would very much like to take a look at it before my friend here buys anything. You see, I dislike it when my friends get swindled." Nawrana had taken a step closer to the Khajiit, and Scent-of-Trees slipped his hand into the potion satchel, feeling for the shape of the invisibility potion bottle.

"Dark Moons! This one must urgently leave! Farewell, my friends!"

The Khajiit leaped up from his crate seat, pulled something from his belt, and before anyone could react, threw that something on the ground. A cloud of thick, acrid smoke covered them. When Scent-of-Trees was done gasping for breath and could see again, the sneaky merchant was nowhere to be seen.

"He'll be back for his merchandise," Nawrana said, surveying the scene. "Not that I think there are actually a great deal of valuable goods in there. In any case, I doubt you'll be wanting any crates now."

"Well." Scent-of-Trees scratched his neck. "I was never that fond of nix-hounds, personally. I could, however, go for a drink. We were surveying the marketplace for scammers and petty criminals, weren't we? Which means part of our day's work is done."

"Indeed," Nawrana said. "And since you brought the case to our attention, I will buy the first round."

*

"I still don't get it, though," Scent-of-Trees said as they were making their way to the Cloudy Dregs Inn. "Why all those convoluted steps, cards and crowns and gems and whatnot? Why couldn't he simply sell us a box?"

"'Watch your opponent, not his sword.' So said Frandar Hunding, and as usual, his words strike true."

"What?"

Nawrana sighed.

"The tricks with the cards and the currencies are the sword. He would prefer that you focus on them, because they hide his true intent, which is the same as ever since greed was invented: to empty your coin pouch. Happy now?"

"I guess so. Say, do you think they serve bloodwine?"


End file.
